Marking a year

I was asked this morning if yesterday was a hard day for me. It took me a while before I realized why I should have been sad yesterday. The memories then came rushing back.

One year ago yesterday (black Friday) I snuck out to get donuts for Kevin. What I didn't tell him was that I was also going to be picking up a pregnancy test. I got back and set the donuts on the counter and was able to take the test while he was still showering. I surprised Kevin with the news that we were again blessed with a child! Number two was on its way. While not planned, we were overjoyed.

We blissfully celebrated the next few weeks before I started bleeding a week and a half before Christmas. It led us to the ER where my Mom and I stayed for a few hours waiting for news. We saw a precious heartbeat and were reassured that while there was a small tear in the uterine wall- things would likely be okay. The doctor reaffirmed that the baby would be just fine a few days after our ER trip. We praised God and the bleeding had mostly stopped.

Then came a call that they wanted to set up a follow up ultrasound on Christmas Eve and so we did. I remember telling Kevin that he wouldn't believe how little this baby was- we hadn't gotten to see Sophie until much later in our pregnancy. Most of you know how this story ends, as the u/s tech furrowed her brow and stayed silent- I had already seen the baby's body- broken in two and the heartbeat extinguished.

It was a hard holiday for us.

Until it was brought up this morning however, I hadn't thought about it at all. I truly think Christmas Eve will be much harder for us this year. But, if our precious one wasn't taken to be with God- we wouldn't have our Liam. Born October 13th, weighing in at 9 lbs 9oz.

When busy with our two blessings yesterday, how could I be down? There is a song that really hits home for me. It explains how we can be healed from the pain of losing a child. It reminds me who my healer really is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvIEJ_PmqJ8

"Healer" Kari Jobe

You hold my very moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
and heal all my disease
I trust in you, I trust in you

I believe You're healer
I believe You are all I need

And I believe your my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

You hold my very moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me though fire
And heal all my disease
I trust in You, Lord I trust in You

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
Oh, I believe

Nothing is impossible for you
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible
You hold my world in Your hands

Recent random thoughts and doings

Its been awhile again...I am not so good at this keeping our blog updated thing. And I am guessing that once October comes I will get a lot worse!!

I have been very busy the last few days working on switching over the kids rooms. We moved the crib and changing table into the play room and moved some of the girlie toys back into Sophies room along with her brand new big girl bed! It is so strange. Sophie and I had to run to Target to pick up sheets for the bed while Kevin was setting it up. When we got back it was all set up and he also had moved the glider up to our room for when Liam is sleeping up there in the bassinet. For some reason I hadn't thought about moving that out yet and silly as it is, I cried! Her room looked so different and it seems like just a second ago that I sat in her beautiful bee room organizing and reorganizing her little things. I can envision myself holding her tiny little body and rocking her to sleep night after night. And now, two years later- its all changed!

I know its a good change, and she LOVES her new room, but its just all moved so fast! I am trying to remind myself that I will be rocking in that chair again very soon with a tiny little man!

Next Tuesday marks her 2nd birthday! We are having a small family gathering on Saturday where we will have a little cake and maybe bonfire. The weather is suppose to only be up to 65 that day. BEAUTIFUL! I love fall. Kevin and I had a lovely bonfire just the two of us last Saturday night. We were so relaxed and the weather was crisp and perfect. We envisioned our backyard lined with lights strung, so hopefully we will get some lights and string them up before Saturday.

Sophie was a flower girl in my brother in laws wedding this past weekend and did so well! She made it down the aisle wonderfully and had did great staying mostly quiet during the ceremony. After Kevin got done playing the guitar she yelled out "GOOD JOB DADDY!" It was pretty cute. She also found great joy in yelling "AMEN!" at the end of EVERY prayer prayed during the wedding.

Poor baby is sick today. She has a cold and a slight fever. Its really a bummer because she was sick for her first birthday as well and I am praying this all goes away by Saturday. Well, at least it gives us more snuggle time right?

I've really been enjoying Chris Tomlins new song "God of the City". Our church is moving to St. Paul sometime this next month and it makes me even more excited to be out there serving the community and spreading the gospel. I've been really enjoying our church home at Beacon and feel very blessed by our pastor and his wife. Also looking forward to the MOMS group starting at Bethlehem soon. I hope to make it to many more this year.

a few new pics*4th of July*a wedding*My best friends baby*

Beautiful powerful truth, Barabbas Gospel video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toEdT0VEHKI&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fhome.php%3Fref%3Dhome&feature=player_embedded

Some recent photos

Here are some of our summer time photos. Included are our first trip to the drive in, the cabin, playdoh fun, baby Liams room in progress (currently the playroom) and a few random others.

In the Valley

When You lead me to the valley of vision
I can see You in the heights
And though my humbling wouldn’t be my decision
It’s here Your glory shines so bright
So let me learn that the cross precedes the crown
To be low is to be high
That the valley’s where You make me more like Christ

Let me find Your grace in the valley
Let me find Your life in my death
Let me find Your joy in my sorrow
Your wealth in my need
That You’re near with every breath
In the valley

In the daytime there are stars in the heavens
But they only shine at night
And the deeper that I go into darkness
The more I see their radiant light
So let me learn that my losses are my gain
To be broken is to heal
That the valley’s where Your power is revealed

© 2006 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI).

Treasuring Him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBJzUnxiKwA