Work that matters

Sometimes I fall into a trap. Its a trap that I set up for myself by looking at parenting blogs or peeking into others lives. I see that their grass appears greener and I try my hardest to keep up. Did you see the curtains she made herself?! Look at how organized their school room is! Their kids sound so brilliant and obedient. I scrub the floors a bit harder, try and make extravagant meals by 5:30 every night, and try to micromanage my childrens behaviors, especially in front of others. Sure, my kids are asking me for the 100th time to play a game or snuggle on the couch but kids, I am busy cleaning for you! I will be right there, reallly, I will. In the end I just feel like I can't keep up and have failed.

In the end, no one will notice (or care) how often my floor has been scrubbed. My family will not starve if we don't eat until 6. But the time I invest in training those little lives means everything. That is my job. I may have to sacrifice my free time. Put down the book. This stage doesn't last forever and I need to make the most of every minute I am given as Sophia and Liams Mama. When I am investing the time in eternity, I feel like a parenting failure much, much less of the time. Because, its worth it. Is it easy? No. Is it pretty? Sometimes not. But, it is required.

Here is an excerpt from "Loving the Little Years" that really spoke to me.


" Dry erase boards and chore charts are all well and good, but it does not change the fact that what you have on your hands is children, not an organizational problem. When Scripture says to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, it is not talking about finding the most effective way to organize them. This is a very easy trap to fall in, because the more children you have the more difficult it is to keep them clean and clothed and fed. Just the basics of life are a full time job. It is also easy for parents to fall into this sort of lifestyle because cleaning and sorting makes you look and maybe even feel like you have your act together,even if you seriously don't. What you are doing is finding a way to contain your children, control them, and keep their sin from making you look bad. But you are not actually dealing with anything....
The more children you have, the more you need to be pastorally minded. Look to each of their souls and their needs. If you are focused on upkeep of the house and the schedule, as long as your child is not interrupting that, you don't worry about it. If you are being a parent who is pastorally minded you will stop whatever it is that you are doing to go see how your daughter is doing up in her bedroom.Be a pastor to your children. Study them, Seek them out. Sacrifice the thing you were doing to work through minor emotional issues. This is why you may have known families who seemed to have it all together. Everyone to his own bunk. Dinner from the crockpot at 6:00pm on the dot. Family worship in the living room. Children quietly doing dishes afterward. Then as the children hit their teen years, you start to see that alongside of all that organization was some serious neglect and hurt. It is possible to organize your children right out of the church. So while your children are little, cultivate an attitude of sacrifice. Sacrifice your peace for their fun. Your clean kitchen floor for their help cracking eggs. Your quiet moment for their long retelling of a dream that a friend of theirs allegedly had. Prioritize your children far and away above the other work you need to get done. They are the only part of your work that really matters."

10 Points of Joyful Parenting

In case you haven't been to any of Ann Voskamps blogs, I thought I'd encourage you to check them out! Whoa, huge encouragment. Thoughtful, incredibly well written, word saturated, realistic blogs.

Heres an excerpt from her book that was so helpful to me.

A parenting manifesto of Joy

1. Today, I will make our home a house of prayer. I will pray at set times. And I will invite our children to come move into an interior space that lives with God.

2. Today, I will transfigure all things into beauty, and I will refuse to see anything else.

3. Today, I will not have any emergencies. There are no emergencies! Only amateurs hurry.

4. Today, when stress mounts, I pray to dismount it with gratitude. My stress management plan will be intervention with verbal thanks. I can only feel one feeling at a time, and I choose to give thanks at all times. Fight feeling with feeling!

5. Today, I will pray to speak words that are only STRONG words, words that make these children feel strong. Grace words. Grace is the only non-toxic air. All other words I breathe are death words.

6. Today, I will pray to be consistently consistent. I will create safe rhythms that our children can find security in. I will create daily ceremonies because everyday we are CELEBRATING the gift of now!

7. Today, the moment when I am most repelled by a child's behavior, that is my sign to draw the very closest to that child.

8. Today, I will hug each of my children as many times as I serve them meals -- because children's hearts feed on touch. I'll look for as many opportunities to touch my children today as possible --- the taller they are, the more so.

9. Today, my priorities will be all Things Unseen.

10. Today, I will laugh! And I will let the little children laugh! I will create a culture of JOY!

Copyright 2010, Ann Voskamp @ www.aholyexperience.com

Gratitude and Joy

"I am more convinced than ever that even in the midst of the mundane, burdensome, and oftentimes frustrating tasks of life allotted to me as a mother, God wants me to find his joy. He wants every single day of my life to be a celebration of his blessings, whether large or small. He wants me to celebrate life ~ the life He has given me.”

~ Sally Clarkson, Seasons of a Mothers Heart

(Loved this quote seen here)

Super Mom vs. Abiding Mom