Marking a year

I was asked this morning if yesterday was a hard day for me. It took me a while before I realized why I should have been sad yesterday. The memories then came rushing back.

One year ago yesterday (black Friday) I snuck out to get donuts for Kevin. What I didn't tell him was that I was also going to be picking up a pregnancy test. I got back and set the donuts on the counter and was able to take the test while he was still showering. I surprised Kevin with the news that we were again blessed with a child! Number two was on its way. While not planned, we were overjoyed.

We blissfully celebrated the next few weeks before I started bleeding a week and a half before Christmas. It led us to the ER where my Mom and I stayed for a few hours waiting for news. We saw a precious heartbeat and were reassured that while there was a small tear in the uterine wall- things would likely be okay. The doctor reaffirmed that the baby would be just fine a few days after our ER trip. We praised God and the bleeding had mostly stopped.

Then came a call that they wanted to set up a follow up ultrasound on Christmas Eve and so we did. I remember telling Kevin that he wouldn't believe how little this baby was- we hadn't gotten to see Sophie until much later in our pregnancy. Most of you know how this story ends, as the u/s tech furrowed her brow and stayed silent- I had already seen the baby's body- broken in two and the heartbeat extinguished.

It was a hard holiday for us.

Until it was brought up this morning however, I hadn't thought about it at all. I truly think Christmas Eve will be much harder for us this year. But, if our precious one wasn't taken to be with God- we wouldn't have our Liam. Born October 13th, weighing in at 9 lbs 9oz.

When busy with our two blessings yesterday, how could I be down? There is a song that really hits home for me. It explains how we can be healed from the pain of losing a child. It reminds me who my healer really is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvIEJ_PmqJ8

"Healer" Kari Jobe

You hold my very moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
and heal all my disease
I trust in you, I trust in you

I believe You're healer
I believe You are all I need

And I believe your my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

You hold my very moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me though fire
And heal all my disease
I trust in You, Lord I trust in You

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
Oh, I believe

Nothing is impossible for you
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible
You hold my world in Your hands

Recent random thoughts and doings

Its been awhile again...I am not so good at this keeping our blog updated thing. And I am guessing that once October comes I will get a lot worse!!

I have been very busy the last few days working on switching over the kids rooms. We moved the crib and changing table into the play room and moved some of the girlie toys back into Sophies room along with her brand new big girl bed! It is so strange. Sophie and I had to run to Target to pick up sheets for the bed while Kevin was setting it up. When we got back it was all set up and he also had moved the glider up to our room for when Liam is sleeping up there in the bassinet. For some reason I hadn't thought about moving that out yet and silly as it is, I cried! Her room looked so different and it seems like just a second ago that I sat in her beautiful bee room organizing and reorganizing her little things. I can envision myself holding her tiny little body and rocking her to sleep night after night. And now, two years later- its all changed!

I know its a good change, and she LOVES her new room, but its just all moved so fast! I am trying to remind myself that I will be rocking in that chair again very soon with a tiny little man!

Next Tuesday marks her 2nd birthday! We are having a small family gathering on Saturday where we will have a little cake and maybe bonfire. The weather is suppose to only be up to 65 that day. BEAUTIFUL! I love fall. Kevin and I had a lovely bonfire just the two of us last Saturday night. We were so relaxed and the weather was crisp and perfect. We envisioned our backyard lined with lights strung, so hopefully we will get some lights and string them up before Saturday.

Sophie was a flower girl in my brother in laws wedding this past weekend and did so well! She made it down the aisle wonderfully and had did great staying mostly quiet during the ceremony. After Kevin got done playing the guitar she yelled out "GOOD JOB DADDY!" It was pretty cute. She also found great joy in yelling "AMEN!" at the end of EVERY prayer prayed during the wedding.

Poor baby is sick today. She has a cold and a slight fever. Its really a bummer because she was sick for her first birthday as well and I am praying this all goes away by Saturday. Well, at least it gives us more snuggle time right?

I've really been enjoying Chris Tomlins new song "God of the City". Our church is moving to St. Paul sometime this next month and it makes me even more excited to be out there serving the community and spreading the gospel. I've been really enjoying our church home at Beacon and feel very blessed by our pastor and his wife. Also looking forward to the MOMS group starting at Bethlehem soon. I hope to make it to many more this year.

a few new pics*4th of July*a wedding*My best friends baby*

Beautiful powerful truth, Barabbas Gospel video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toEdT0VEHKI&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fhome.php%3Fref%3Dhome&feature=player_embedded

Some recent photos

Here are some of our summer time photos. Included are our first trip to the drive in, the cabin, playdoh fun, baby Liams room in progress (currently the playroom) and a few random others.

In the Valley

When You lead me to the valley of vision
I can see You in the heights
And though my humbling wouldn’t be my decision
It’s here Your glory shines so bright
So let me learn that the cross precedes the crown
To be low is to be high
That the valley’s where You make me more like Christ

Let me find Your grace in the valley
Let me find Your life in my death
Let me find Your joy in my sorrow
Your wealth in my need
That You’re near with every breath
In the valley

In the daytime there are stars in the heavens
But they only shine at night
And the deeper that I go into darkness
The more I see their radiant light
So let me learn that my losses are my gain
To be broken is to heal
That the valley’s where Your power is revealed

© 2006 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI).

Treasuring Him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBJzUnxiKwA

Death is not dying, a faith that saves

Over the course of the last few weeks I have been receiving emails, reading blogs, and hearing people rave about a video that has recently come out. Its about 55 minutes long, so I haven't found the time to sit and listen. Until right now. With tears streaming down my face, I would like to encourage you to carve an hour out of your day to listen to Rachel, a woman who is dying from breast cancer speak about death. Her message is so powerful and hit home. It is gospel saturated.

Check it out.

Its a new day

Recently I have been feeling convicted about my priorities. I spend far too much time doing things that matter not, and not nearly enough time doing things that are eternally important.

I have been praying about how to remedy this. Besides just giving myself a swift kick in the pants. So, this morning I deleted my facebook account. I erased the link to another site I spend way too much time on. Is facebook bad? No, not at all- but for me- I don't have the discipline needed to get off of it as much as I should. It took away from my time as a wife, mother and a Christian. It also caused for some selfish thoughts. I may see someone from high school and think, "phew, I am doing way better than they are." Or I would put up pictures of me and my family and just wait for someone to lavish words upon how cute we are. My motives were not in the right place and so as hard as it was, I think it was necessary.

I also started something new. I will now be getting up at the wee hour of 5:30am! Yikes! This is to allow me time to do a good devotional reading, take a quick shower, and make breakfast for my husband before he gets out the door in the morning. I am so encouraged by a blog I came upon, girltalk. It is written by the Mahoney women. Carolyn Mahoney gets up at 5:30 am and then gives her daughters a wake up call so they all can get up and have a good quiet time before their kids get up and everyone starts their day. This is something I have known that I should be doing (getting up before Sophie) but really struggling with. So now, I am just doing it! Please encourage me to do so, hold me accountable, and ask me how it is going!

Well, I have a little one who is asking me for "buttered toast" over the monitor so away I go.

Got my baby back!

New of the week:
As of yesterday- Sophia is finally better! It had been nearly three weeks that she was sick and it killed us to see her so miserable. It had gone from the flu to a terrible cold and she wasn't hardly sleeping at all. I was at my wits end and thinking she would never go back to our happy healthy girl. All of this was coupled with the fact that we had no health coverage since Kevin had been laid off. That was incredibly hard. I almost felt neglectful not taking her in. We were fairly certain that it was just a terrible cold but on Monday or Tuesday I began doubting that and wondering if she had strep or an ear infection. Well she is finally back to our happy girl and it makes me so glad! I missed her!

She has since become our curious George. Tricks of the day included climbing from her little potty (new in the bathroom) onto the big potty, into the sink....etc. Also climbing in the dishwasher and up to the counter. She also learned how to open the toilet seat and we heard a little voice saying, "Splish, splash!" YUCK! Babies R'US here we come for a toilet seat lock. I just think of Amy Pohler in Baby Mama when she can't get it open and pees in the sink. Bad news. :-)

In other amazing news- Kevin was hired by Allina! Better yet, they don't want him to start until March 2 so he can finish full time at Desiring God this month. God's timing amazes me.

Also, for my work we are doing a Biggest Loser contest. I am the only one not paying but simply tracking my numbers with the rest of them (the accountability of everyone seeing my weight does it for me:-) ) This week I lost the most at 4 lbs! It was week one. I am hoping to have a repeat performance. The contest goes for 4 and a half months and my goal is to lose 35-40 lbs. That would be fabulous!

Well, those are my random thoughts of the day, hope you have a great weekend!

Oh and I think I am going to start something called Featured Friend Friday so today I want to feature my wonderful friend Marie. She is an amazing woman of God. She has always been a fabulous listener and is so fun to be around. She holds me accountable which is great since that is something thats not easy to do with friends. We pray together, have some sweet coffee dates after the babies are asleep and she loves my kid! She is constantly encouraging and giving. Oh, and I think she is funny! :-) That is why I love Marie!

Friday featured family: My Aunt Jammie and Uncle Louie. My Aunt Jammie has always been like a second Mom to me. We look more alike than my Mom and I. They were gracious and let me live with them for a while a few years ago. They love my daughter lots and lots. One of my favorite stories about Louie is that my Aunt Jammie told him that we were having a girl and he got upset saying that he wanted to be surprised. I thought that was funny because I wouldn't have thought Louie would have had such a strong opinion about that. When I went back to work at first this summer Sophia stayed with Jammie on Mondays. It was rough at first but Jammie fought through the tears and by the third week Sophie had a blast playing at Aunties house. This past week my Uncle brought a bag of meat home for us and had my Aunt put it in our car. It was such a blessing for us as money has been tight with the layoff. I love them and appreciate them so much!

I'm sure your name will be on my Friday Featured friend or Friday featured family soon since pretty much everyone reading this is a blessing to us!

Another challenge and lesson learned

On Thursday I was headed to work in our trusty Tracker (the one and only car to our name now) when I heard a LOUD squealing noise. I quickly pulled off the exit when smoke came pouring out of the entire car. All these lights went off and it was nearly impossible to turn into the nearest parking lot. Thankfully I did make it in the lot before she died.

It was the breaking point for me. I have held it together pretty well for all of the challenges presented to us this month but this was the straw that broke the camels back. Well, emotionally anyways. While I waited in the chilly doorway I mentally began to make a list of things that have gone wrong lately. It got fairly long and the complaints wore on in my head. By the time my poor Mom got there I was sobbing. At work it continued, every time someone new walked in an asked how I was I lost it again.

I kept telling myself to pull it together woman! What kind of witness to God was it when I was a puddle. I should instead paste a grin on my face and say, "Well...its ok!" as I have been for the last month and a half. As the day went on and I was able to go home and reflect on the day with Kevin and have a nice quiet time I realized that I don't have to paste that smile and attitude on to be a good witness. The truth is, his strength can only be shown in our weaknesses. His perfection in our sin. This verse popped out to me:
2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Wow. The lessons that we have learned this month have been irreplaceable. The scripture memorized, worth it.

At the end of the day Kevin received a phone call letting him know that he has full time hours at DG, his part time job for the month of February! Not only that, but he will have a laptop to do his work from home, enabling him to continue staying home with Sophie on the days that I work. What a blessing. We know that our earthly needs will be met this month. Thats all we can take it is day by day. Also, he had an interview with Allina on Wednesday and by next Wednesday should know what the verdict is there.

It has been so interesting how our needs have been met this past month. Where the encouragement has come from has astounded me. I have received encouragement cards in the mail this month from people I would have NEVER expected. I thank God for each and every one of those people who have had kind words and prayers to brighten our days. Also, on a monetary level we were so blessed when a complete stranger (well "real life" stranger, but internet friend) felt God calling them to send us a check. It was incredibly humbling to us to accept money from someone we had never met before but as it was the exact amount needed for my car payment that day and we were just wondering how to pay it this month we knew God had answered that prayer. What a lesson. It surely has taught us to let go of our worry and more importantly our ties to anything we own. It is not our, nor has it ever been.

Bummed

Yesterday our whole house came down with the flu. I already had a terrible cold so it was double misery for me. And poor little Sophie. We were both covered in vomit head to toe several times since she can't warn us when she will get sick. A little moaning sick baby is one of the saddest things ever- especially when you and your husband are miserably sick too. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

The big bummer for us though, was that we missed the rally at the capital yesterday for Life. It was the anniversary of Roe Vs. Wade so many gathered in peaceful rally at the capital.

One of the biggest criticisms I heard when I am talking about Life issues with Pro-choicers is that "we" pro-lifers do nothing besides rally against them. That we don't do anything for pregnant Women out there who need help. This argument always really bothers me because many of us are out there doing what we can for mothers who need the help and need options, support and encouragement about choosing Life. Here is just one tiny way you can help if you are interested.

Why I hate Sanctity of Human life Sunday

We just read Russell Moores article about why he hates Sanctity of Human life Sunday, check it out!

Also, we will be marching at the Capital on Thursday (January 22-the Roe Vs. Wade anniversary) a bus will be leaving from Bethlehem Baptist Church at 11pm and I believe it will arrive back at the church around 1pm. Please join us! Let me know if you have any questions!

Bumbleride Indie Twin Stroller Giveaway at I Never Grew Up

Vanessa at I Never Grew Up is hosting such an incredible giveaway right now! She's giving away a Bumbleride Indie Twin Stroller, which is an amazingly cool ride for two kiddos. While I don't yet have two, I'd love to win this for when I do! Check out her giveaway for the chance to win! Non-bloggers are eligible to enter.

Our pastor about the Economic downturn

As most of you know Kevin was laid off from his job a week ago Wednesday. Are we wondering about how the ends will meet? Of course. But we have been clinging to Matthew chapter 6 since we found out. We are reminded that there has NEVER been a time when we have not been provided for. Ever. Wow. Our pastor recently posted this video on his blog and it spoke to our hearts. I know lots of people out there are experiencing a job loss or pay downgrade etc, so be encouraged!

2009 Goals

Another year has begun and it has been a tough start for us already! God is surely working in our lives and we are growing through every challenge brought to us. A friend commented that He never gives us more than we can handle, but don't we wish he thought we could handle less sometimes. :-)

In 2009 we are challenging ourselves to:

-Memorize more scripture. Our church does a fighter verse each week and it is week two. Its amazing how helpful having scripture memorized can be! I have always been the person who, when a friend is talking about a challenge I say well you know that one verse....and then misquote it entirely or forget half of it! Its awful! So it is so past time that we make it a priority to memorize scripture. It has been encouraging to our family and I have had the opportunity to speak the word into others lives already!

This weeks verse is Isaiah 43:10
"Fear not for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I am with you, and the rivers, you shall not be overwhelmed, and when you walk through fire, you shall not be burned. The flames shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the holy one of Israel, your Savior."

We are walking through those flames right now but can know with confidence that we will not be burned! And when we feel as though our heads are going under and it is all we can do to doggy paddle we can firmly say that we will not be overwhelmed. For we have the the Lord our God with us at all times.

-Clip more coupons. I am such a slacker at this but recently have started using them and what a difference. Wanting to be good stewards of the money we are given.

-Use our time more wisely. We are getting rid of cable and this will help so much! We are also called to be good stewards of our time and in this we fall short. We need to be in the word more often, having more family time, and fellowshipping with those around us.

-(This is just Kelsey) Being a woman of action. I often think that I should bring that new family in our neighborhood a wreath (a cinnamon bread thing my Moms always made and passed out to neighbors) but never do it. Or to bring a new Mom dinner, or a grieving friend some coffee. Mostly this comes down to money for us and I am praying that I will soon have enough funds to bless those around me in the way that I have been blessed. It is simple enough to send a card out when I am thinking of someone. I have a few friends who are so good at this (Amanda and Marie are two that come to mind) and I want to follow in their lead. I want to move from the desire and good intentions of doing these things to DOING them!

-Keep up on cleaning more. Our house is generally tidy. If you came to visit it probably would look pretty clean. This is because we can't stand clutter. But I need to get better at deep cleaning. I have already improved in the last few weeks! Whoohoo!

-Take a stand for life. If you read our previous post you would see how. I joined the sanctity of Life take force at our Church and want to help more at New Life family services in Minneapolis. Its so easy to say that you are Pro-Life but its the actions again that mean anything. What are we doing for young pregnant women? How are we showing that we don't support abortion? Are we on our knees praying that God will end this horrible act? Are we on our knees praying for these women?

I am mostly putting these out there for us to be reminded so way to go you if you read this far! Praying for a fruitful year!

40 days for Life

We are gearing up here for the 40 days of Life campaign. The campaign starts on February 25 and ends on April 5th. If you have never been involved in 40 days for Life (like myself) before here is an explanation of what goes on.

40 Days for Life is a focused pro-life campaign with a vision to access God's power through prayer, fasting, and a peaceful vigil to end abortion in America.

The mission of the campaign is to bring together the body of Christ in a spirit of unity during a focused 40 day campaign of prayer, fasting, and peaceful activism, with the purpose of repentance, to seek God's favor to turn hearts and minds from a culture of death to a culture of life, thus bringing an end to abortion in America.

1. Prayer is at the center of 40 days for Life. During the campaign, we are calling on prayer warriors across the nation to fall on their knees before the Lord, asking him to hear our plea and heal our land. Pray at church. Pray outside an abortion facility. Pray at work. Pray in the car. Pray at home with your family. Pray!

2.Fast. People of faith are also invited to fast throughout 40 days for Life. Christ said there are demons that can only be driven out by prayer and fasting. A fast is not a Christian diet; it is a powerful means of drawing closer to God by blocking out distraction.
Fast from certain foods. Fast from television. Fast from apathy and indifference. Fast from whatever it is that separates you from God.

3.The visible, public centerpiece of 40 Days for Life is a 40-day, round the clock prayer vigil outside a Planned Parenthood center or other abortion facility in your community. It is a peaceful and educational presence. Those who are called to stand witness during this 24-hour-a-day presence send a powerful message to the community about the tragic reality of abortion. It also serves as a call to repentance for those who work at the abortion center and those who patronize the facility.

What will we do?

If you live here in the twin cities we will be praying outside of Regions hospital on St. Paul. They not only preform abortions at the hospital but also have a special training program that trains surgeons how to preform them.

Our church will be taking April 3rd specifically and we will be there for 24 hours in prayer outside of the hospital. If you would like to join us we will likely have a shuttle leaving from the church and taking many trips back and forth. I have not yet decided on the hours that I will be there but I am sure that I will spend a good part of the day there. If it is warm out- which I sure hope it is on April 3rd we will likely pack up Sophia to join us as well. There are so many of us who are like minded about life but not many of us stand up and do something about it. I have felt tugging on my heart and conviction about this so now I am doing something, won't you join me?

I will be fasting for the first time in my life during some of the 40 days. Be it from food or computer etc.

Please join us in prayer during this time! "If my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and forgive their sin and will heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14